Zora L. Kolkey, LMFT

Are You Taking Care of Yourself? Not According to the President of the American Bar Association

December 30, 2020

One of the first things I learned when studying to become a therapist was the need to take care of myself. If I don’t do that, I can’t take care of anyone else. This was brought home to me a few weeks ago when I was speaking with my accountability partner. She’s a lawyer and …

Are You Taking Care of Yourself? Not According to the President of the American Bar Association.

September 18, 2019

One of the first things I learned when studying to become a therapist was the need to take care of myself. If I don’t do that, I can’t take care of anyone else. This was brought home to me a few weeks ago when I was speaking with my accountability partner. She’s a lawyer and …

Why Becoming More Argumentative Will Make You Smarter

February 2, 2019

When I saw that headline, I thought  “Gosh, that’s not what my folks and teachers told me!”  I read the BBC on my computer every morning.  Obviously, the title caught my eye. It certainly wasn’t what I was taught when I was young–which was, admittedly  a very long time ago.  I was always told “Don’t argue!”  It’s rude, disrespectful   It was specially not okay for girls/ women to argue.  Arguing was usually looked at as being loud and threatening.  Raised voices …

Don’t “Should” on Me

December 17, 2018

The above statement is one of my favorite bumper stickers. It is a reminder of one of the ways in which we both allow others to tyrannize us and tyrannize ourselves. When partners, whether business or personal,  try to “should” on each other, intense conflict almost always results. “Shoulds” come from cultural, parental and peer …